Tuesday, May 29, 2012
i am at the office now.
felt like blogging yesterday.
but was too busy in the office and too tired when i reached home.
yesterday i was tricked.
i didn't know i was trick, until she admitted it.
i really believed what she said, and i was very sad.
really very sad.
it was the kind of sadness i felt when i knew natalie got attached before i could even do anything.
i used my lunch time to think through how i want to treat her after hearing the news.
and i sent her a long text.
during lunch, colleagues all noticed there was probably something wrong with me because i was very quiet throughout.
but i just told them i was very tired because i only had 2 hours of rest the previous night.
after lunch, when i returned to the office, i tried to behave like there was nothing wrong with me, although i was still very depressed.
but i didn't want to show any tinge of sadness to her.
later she admitted it that she lied to me.
i was actually very happy.
very happy that it wasn't true.
very happy because of what she said too.
maybe if i work harder things will work out?
just maybe.
at night, idk why, she was very sweet to me last night.
i was really happy.
literally rolled on bed.
smiling like crazy.
but afterward, i wasn't sure what happened, but something happened to her.
i was very worried throughout the night.
i dozed off and woke up many times.
everytime i woke up i looked at my phone.
just to check if she got text me, and whether she went to sleep or not.
the last time i woke up to check was 3am plus.
i am still quite worried by her.
i don't know what happened.
but something just happened.
i don't dare to ask her now.
and this morning, she told me something.
i don't know if she is hinting something to me.
i hope i just think too much.
i am scared.
felt like blogging yesterday.
but was too busy in the office and too tired when i reached home.
yesterday i was tricked.
i didn't know i was trick, until she admitted it.
i really believed what she said, and i was very sad.
really very sad.
it was the kind of sadness i felt when i knew natalie got attached before i could even do anything.
i used my lunch time to think through how i want to treat her after hearing the news.
and i sent her a long text.
during lunch, colleagues all noticed there was probably something wrong with me because i was very quiet throughout.
but i just told them i was very tired because i only had 2 hours of rest the previous night.
after lunch, when i returned to the office, i tried to behave like there was nothing wrong with me, although i was still very depressed.
but i didn't want to show any tinge of sadness to her.
later she admitted it that she lied to me.
i was actually very happy.
very happy that it wasn't true.
very happy because of what she said too.
maybe if i work harder things will work out?
just maybe.
at night, idk why, she was very sweet to me last night.
i was really happy.
literally rolled on bed.
smiling like crazy.
but afterward, i wasn't sure what happened, but something happened to her.
i was very worried throughout the night.
i dozed off and woke up many times.
everytime i woke up i looked at my phone.
just to check if she got text me, and whether she went to sleep or not.
the last time i woke up to check was 3am plus.
i am still quite worried by her.
i don't know what happened.
but something just happened.
i don't dare to ask her now.
and this morning, she told me something.
i don't know if she is hinting something to me.
i hope i just think too much.
i am scared.