Saturday, February 03, 2007

i was feeling rather tired and sick for these few days. i was a bit feverish yesterday. today i am feeling better but i decided not to go to the kayak training. i scare i would faint and capsize haha, just kidding. i did not go for the training because i am very tired, so i smsed vincent, the I/C and i went back into deep sleep.

it's a long time since i sms her. i wonder how she is now. i suppose she's perfectly alright. it would not have made any difference since i stop smsing her. for months, i have not chat with her. i feel like smsing her whenever i feel bored or lonely, but i always resist on the last minute. i know i should not do it, because it will only increase my 'si nian' towards her. well, since i have already endured it for so many months, i suppose i should continue to work hard on it. perhaps i can soon forget her somehow.

i feel that forgetting someone is a hard task. it requires great determination. i wonder where did my determination comes from. it takes a few seconds to realise you had fallen into love with someone, but it takes days, months or even years to forget someone, dont you agree?sometimes, i feel that i have already given up on her, but just a sentence from someone, i feel so hurt again.

i think i am contradicting myself. i wanted to give up on her i wanted to forget her, but yet i care so much to a sentence that concerns about her and somebody else. have you ever felt something like this before?

sigh, felt so lonely suddenly.