Thursday, October 20, 2005

exams are finally over le.. but i dun seem to be as happy as i tot i cud be..

though exams are over le.. my heart seems to be floating ard.. dunoe wat it is trying to search for.. kinda unpleasant.. i cudnt be happy.. all my smiles are onli 'wei zhuang chu lai de'..

i was in quite a good mood after playing badminton wit hong lin and long.. but my mood changed when i received the msg sent by pwen.. we planned to go for a movie on the 18 oct.. pwen asked mi to call tz(to noe hu is tz.. refer to my tag-board).. first thing tat came to my mind.. can i choose not to call him? obviously i cudnt.. and i noe tat most probably it was she hu wanted tz to go along as well.. i m 99.9% sure abt tis.. she din noe how hurt was i when i saw tis msg.. she nv noe.. i dun wish to call tz to go.. i m 1000% unwilling.. i din noe wat to do.. i smsed kathy.. i asked her for resolution.. she asked mi to call tz generously.. i cudnt.. i cudnt make tat call.. i reali cant do it.. so i smsed tz's no. to pwen.. though i gave pwen his no. .. i dun wish he cud go..i hope he cant make it tmr.. i noe tat i m veri selfish.. i noe tat.. but i cudnt control myself.. i m reali afraid tat if tz wud to go tmr.. she wud stay so close wit him.. haix.. i was selfish.. selfish tinking.. selfish actions..